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Buongiorno! Mi chiamo Cinzia - My name is Cynthia. Join me on my journey as I follow my heart back to live in the land of Dolce & Gabbana, Dolce Amore and La Dolce Vita. More Info

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March 2012
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My Heart My Fountain My Italy

Have You Lost Weight? – Toilet Fiasco – Dealing With Vulnerability

March 15, 2012

Yesterday afternoon was lovely as I had a midafternoon lunch on a patio in the sun. Yes I had pizza again and with a glass of wine.  Everyone around me was sitting, eating, sipping and enjoying the sun. I can’t drink beer with pizza…I find it really fills me up so I prefer wine or water naturale.

I had decided on my plans for the evening. In my mind I was feeling very positive but it turned out to be a really strange evening … I keep forgetting that things close down early in Venice. I went to have a pre-dinner prosecco. On my way I had stopped by Hosteria Al Vecio Bragosso. (This is the restaurant that a friend had taken me to where the food experience for me “was” phenomenal. I had posted photos on my blog.) The waiters were out front and I asked them what time they closed. I said I would come back in about 30 minutes for dinner. I was still dreaming about that fish that I had and was hoping I could have it or something like it again.

At the Lounge, I had my prosecco and I got to chat with my friend in Italian (without disturbing his work of course). It’s fun doing a language exchange …  it’s a gentle reminder to me that English is just as difficult to learn as any other language.  One of the staff members came up to me and said “looking good or fine as always (something like that) and then proceeded to say..”Have you lost weight?”… What a fricken bizarre thing to say… he had only seen me 3 days ago : S  It’s really hard to tell what is going on in the heads of others here because everyone knows everyone and this man knew my Gondolier friend or ex-friend. This can create some pretty uncomfortable dynamics…I prefer to step back from dynamics like this because I don’t want to be pulled into the web of egos and cheap gossip… although I am sure I have been. I haven’t a clue what everyone’s story is or who the real “players” are but as I get to know people the truth reveals itself…

It was time to leave the lounge and head back to the restaurant for dinner. I had popped into the washroom before heading off. I always seem to have some sort of issue with rings and toilettes. I usually take the ring off and forget it only to go running back later to retrieve it from the counter. This experience was a little different. The ladies washroom was being cleaned so the gentleman told me to use the handicap washroom.  I couldn’t find the button to flush the toilet and instead I hit some sort of shower mechanism spraying water everywhere… “Shit! Shit Shit!!!… As I tried to stop the shower of water, my Swarovski crystal ring went flying off my hand into the toilet.  I stared down into the pee filled toilet with exasperation …muttering profanity to myself, I HAD TO GET MY RING! I plunged my hand into the water screaming in my head “GAWDDD”… I found my ring but it was damaged. I then had to rinse it off … I wanted to make sure that it was thoroughly clean and so … well… I went to smell it..I know gross but I needed to make sure. My thoughts were screaming “gawd it smells like pee!!!” What have I done!!!! The under part of the ring now had a large chunk of Crystal missing from it. This is the second crystal ring that has been damaged…I was so disappointed. I won’t be buying anymore Swarovski rings again that is for sure. The one I had purchased for my birthday was damaged as it had accidently been knocked on to the floor. I will stick with the Murano glass rings…

Feeling really stupid I put my clean ring back on and left for my neighbourhood. The streets were feeling quiet and that makes me a bit nervous but everyone here assures me that it is safe. I arrived at the restaurant and when I looked inside they only had 2 tables of people. I asked the waiters at the bar if I was too late. There was a bit of oddity going on and finally someone came out to help me. All I really wanted was to eat some fish not go through the billions of courses of meals. The waiter that they gave me was really lacking in any sort of enthusiasm. He was not helpful at all, not smiling…and I suddenly felt like leaving. My brilliant idea to have fish suddenly seemed like a really bad idea and I wanted to exit stage left. The waiters started clearing up tables around me which felt even more unrelaxing. One guy sat behind the bar texting on his phone.  The man who seemed like the head waiter (I think) said we still have one table eating so it’s ok or something like that. I had sole and just ate a little bit… I didn’t even finish my glass of wine. I was not feeling comfortable about any of this so I got up, paid and left.  All I wanted was to taste that fish that I had sampled 1 month ago. It seemed that when I went to that restaurant with my Gondolier ex-friend, I was treated much better and well I guess it helped that he knew exactly what to order… I think he is more of a demanding person when it comes to things…he knew exactly what he wanted to order, how he wanted it prepared etc.  Experience will teach you that…

I walked back to my hotel like a dog with it’s tail between its legs… In my hotel room I broke down crying. So much for my mantras, positive self talk and deep breathing. I think the disappointment I was feeling in my heart (from an incident that happened just after my birthday) had caught up with me and then putting myself into situations like I had just done whilst still vulnerable was probably not the smartest thing to do… but I am not the sort of person to hide away in my hotel room. I had denied the feeling of a certain disappointment and it did not have to do with restaurant food.  I have always been told to never suppress things because they will rear themselves at another time. Well the main thing is, I tried.

Back to the topic of restaurants, my visits to different restaurants have been hit or miss. A couple of days ago I had tried out a restaurant and was hoping to write about it. The lady who greeted me at the door offered me a choice of 2 tables. When I asked her if I could take this one small table by the window she said no this is for 4 people… but it was a table with 2 chairs. She later let a local Italian couple have it and on top of that she let a solo Italian woman whom she seemed to know sit wherever she wanted. The food was good but I am not sure that I would go back again.

I think I have seen the most service with a smile at the Hard Rock Café. I know its not “Venetian” but the staff there are super friendly. They chat with you and every time I have been there, the service has been great. Also, they don’t charge a cover to sit at the table. I eat all Italian food when I am in Rome but really wanted to experience authentic Venetian cuisine again while I was here on this extended birthday vacation… Unfortunately, it seems not to really have happened this trip.  I think that the best cuisine I had sampled was on that trip one month ago.

I have 4 nights left in Venice and it’s a new day … let’s see if I can keep myself out of trouble… Ciao for Now!


by Cinzia. Find out more about Cinzia here.

Categories: The Present