It is perhaps thanks to this country’s scant regard for political correctness, health & safety and animal welfare that enables such an institution to survive, for these factors would certainly be the downfall of  any Circus in the UK.

Having never been to a Circus I was sceptical as to whether watching performing animals and jugglers for two hours could be classed as entertainment as such (which is why I took the kids). All I knew of the Circus was what I had learned for the television when I was a kid … a long long time ago … so I had low expectations when I dragged my two braves through the entrance on Sunday afternoon.

In addition to a menagerie of animals in a mini-zoo there were indeed performing beasts : tigers, horses, elephants and dogs.  I’m not a huge animal lover myself – so I didn’t feel particularly concerned for the well-being of the animals in question, they were entertaining. The Tigers seemed a bit bored by it all, but my boys were excited to see them nonetheless.

There were small scale acts to keep things moving along: an acrobat, a juggler, a trapeze artist, gymnasts, clowns and a pole dancer (for the Dads I assume).  So, thus far I had seen nothing unexpected or out of the ordinary – except perhaps for the set itself which included a brilliant live band and an amazing lighting rig.

The very Gothic illusionist made things get a little more interesting when he cut a girl in half and then did a disappearing act … but his efforts were nothing, NOTHING, compared to the grand finale, which I am very happy to say was worth every penny that I paid for the tickets.

Arlette-Gruss’s reinvention of the Wall of Death – “The Globe of Speed” was proper death-defying, heart in your mouth stuff.  A giant spherical cage was rolled on – into which three motor cyclists drove, and then span around in to all points of the compass. Missing each other by mere 100ths of a second.

Thinking the act was over the audience audibly swooned as two more motorbikes were added into the now crowded cage.  The act didn’t stop there however.  After another nail-biting tour of the globe, three more motorcycles were added (that’s eight in total) for a final show-down in the dark.  Yes, as all these motorbikes were zooming around in a space not much bigger than a two-bed semi – they decided to switch the lights off!

It was jaw-dropping stuff.

While we sat there thinking nothing could top that – mine de rien – it was actually the last act that was ultimately the most spectacular.  Two acrobats on a giant spinning steel frame performed break-neck, free-fall tumbles from the very top of the tent to the very bottom (without hitting it of course) keeping the audience glued to their seats until the very last.

What can I say?  I can’t recommend this show enough. The production values were comparable to a West End or Broadway show, and you’ll see things that really will amaze you .. it really is a high-flying, death-defying Circus.  Not to be missed!

Directed by local comedy colossus Bruno Dreyfúrst it boasts a strong cast of local comic talent, perhaps most notably Aude Koegler who you may already know from her role in the motion picture Tous les Soleils, which was filmed in Strasbourg. While Marc Schweyer, Jacques Bruckman and Etienne Bayart may be better known for their talents as impro performers, here they complete a line-up of unquestionable dramatic, and comic, genius.

Having already seen a workshop preview of this production in April last year at the Kafteur, I can promise you it is going to be a memorable show. The script written by Marius von Mayenburg expertly, and comically, tackles the subject of the perception of beautiful people in today’s society and leaves much food for thought when the curtain comes down.

As ever – I wish a huge pile of ‘merde’ to everyone involved.

I came away with two children absolutely beaming with joy and my ears pleasantly ringing to the echoes from a superlative performance of some favourite classical pieces.

Concerts Familles are a regular feature of the Orchestra’s seasons, with the performance and choice of music based on a theme familiar to all each time; like pirates or movies. Yesterday’s theme was “sport”, in honour of this Olympic year, and was presented by Scotsman Alasdair Malloy who added a very distinctive British flavour to proceedings.

Standing in front of an Orchestra, clad in sports gear, Malloy introduced the programme with boyish charm, and ensured that things never got boring for the younger members of the audience – who were encouraged to dance, wave, sing and participate wherever and whenever possible. His occasional butchering of the French language also added a certain comical something to the performance.

Malloy and his counterpart, English conductor Geoffrey Styles, led us through a play-list of tunes associated with sport. Those familiar with British television coverage would have probably appreciated the Match of the Day and Ski Sunday themes more than most.  The main event was Malloy’s Football Fantasia - a piece where the audience participate in a musical match of football, chanting support for their team in turn (the half of the orchestra in closest proximity clad in either orange or green).

The orchestra themselves were in sublime form and I am now kicking myself for not making more of an effort in the past to get along to see them (inexcusable considering I can walk to the concert hall in five minutes!)

Needless to say if you have the opportunity to get hold of tickets for any of the Strasbourg Philharmonic‘s performances, especially their family concerts, then don’t hesitate. It will be money very well spent.

My heart sinks just thinking about it, not just because we went through the same thing last year, but because this attestation, that is supposed to be the end of the story I know will be far from that.  This piece of paper is just the latest shot in a game of paperwork tennis that The Council of Europe HR department is forced into playing with the CAF (family allowance office).

Temporary contracts at the Council of Europe can last up to a maximum of six months.  After this you must find something else to occupy you for at least another six months before they re-employ you.  This might seem like a peculiar situation, but if you have ever had any dealings with the CoE – then you’ll appreciate that this is nothing out of the ordinary.

Now, although the Council might be IN France, if you work there, it is considered as working abroad – because you don’t pay any French social charges.  The Council, like most European Institutions, have their own special arrangements with regards to tax, pension and healthcare.  Most notably, if you have children, you are also entitled to a very generous per-head child-support (family) allowance.  However, this is where it gets complicated.

By accepting the Family allowance (AF) from the Council – you are no longer allowed to claim AF from the CAF.  Fair enough. However, the CAF won’t stop your AF, even if you tell them to because they need paperwork from the council as proof.

You would think asking a national body to stop giving you free money would be met with a fairly clear cut response like: “OK, thanks for telling us.  Let us know when your contract ends.”  Alas no.  No-one at the CAF is allowed to think for themselves – there must always, ALWAYS, be documentary evidence to back up any change of situation.

So – an attestation stating that you are employed at a European institution will get you a tick in the box that says “employed” … it does not though, by any logic, mean the box ‘entitled to AF’ will be unchecked.  For that – you need a separate attestation stating that you have received (not will receive) AF.

Why should you care how long it takes them to uncheck a box you ask?

Well, unlike income support (RSA), overpaid allocation familial (AF) can be recuperated by the state.  Which means the longer it takes the CAF to acknowledge your European worker status – the longer it will take to stop your AF, and the more money they will have to take back from you in the long run.  Today – we are still paying for the overpaid AF contributions from this time last year!

To make matters particularly bureaucratic, when your contract ends you then need another attestation saying you no longer receive AF, and you are no longer employed by a European body.

Having a dynamic lifestyle in France has it’s advantages, but boy does the paperwork get you down!

The Vienoise sausage on the other hand (or Wiener if you prefer) contains Veal and Pork – though exactly which bits also remains a mystery.

However unjust the taking of an extra 3000 Euro might seem it is even more criminal to have to wait for a refund after the error has been acknowledged.  It was only this January, 2012, that the money was returned to me.

I am not rejoicing at this sudden influx of cash however, because I had to borrow to pay them their ‘estimate’ in the first place – which made the situation ten times worse of course.  In the two years that they have held on to my money I have probably paid in the region of 15% interest on a bank loan.  Meaning the only winners out of this situation have been the government and the banks.

This scenario, coupled with an equally criminal over-estimation by my pension fund CIPAV (which was non-refundable) just underlines the problem with France’s idiotic system of self-employment, which forces people into a negative-cashflow situation the moment their business stops growing.  Which for most ends in their inevitable foreclosure.

You have been warned.

English Impro night at the Cammionneur

A rather usual event is taking place this Friday (6th Jan) in Strasbourg and it is one that should interest all Anglophones in the Alsace-Baden region; because Inédit Théâtre  will be presenting their first ever English Impro-comedy show at the Cammionneur.

“On a naked stage, two (French) comedians and a musician, using suggestions from the audience, create scenes to entertain and amuse. Come and taste this new impro show – where French charm meets English wit.”

The question is though, will these French performers be able to pull off a show entirely in English?

Well, actress and comedienne Antonia de Rendinger is a local comic sensation, having successfully toured her one woman show around France since 2003, and regularly appearing on TV comedy sketch shows on TF1 and France4. Her stage partner for the show Marko Mayerl, artistic director of  Inédit Théâtre, has also been successfully treading the boards since 1993, both locally and internationally, as a master and innovator of the impro artform.  He regularly performs in English too. They are accompanied by talented Chilean musician Cristián Vergara, also of Inédit Théâtre, who has amazed audiences with his virtuosity on an array of instruments for several years.

So the chances are it will be top-drawer entertainment! There will be three chances to see the show over the coming months and it will, of course, be different every time.

Starts 9:30 pm | 6th january, 9th march and 11th may |  CAMMIONNEUR, rue Wodli, 67000 Strasbourg; Call 03 88 32 29 24 to reserve a seat.

Directed and translated by Olivier Py, it is a ambitious piece played with passion and energy by it’s cast of ten players.  Shakespearean purists will probably be somewhat disappointed that Py’s translation is more focussed on involving a modern day audience, rather than paying homage to or emulating the poetic language of the period when the original was written.  However, as any actor knows, involving the audience is key to a successful piece. (That said, my level of French certainly wasn’t good enough to keep up at times!)

At three hours twenty minutes it is a play of epic proportions, and at 18€ a ticket you certainly feel it is good value. This length one supposes reflects Py’s translation of the entire original piece. However, given that even the most traditionalist British Shakespearean group rarely play a version longer than 2 hours, the decision to run with such a lengthy version is courageous and bold; or perhaps, rather, an error of judgement.

On the upside: the acting was superb with the interplay between characters producing some highly entertaining scenes, even when multiple personalities had to be played by the same actor (Quentin Faure throwing a veil over his head every time he had to play Lady Capulet for example).  On the downside: the clunky set often upstaged or detracted from the action, with it’s many moving parts requiring near-constant attention by stage-hands; even for the curtain-call the set had to be shifted in order for the cast to have a clear path to the footlights for their bows; and it was certainly way too long to keep certain members of the audience awake for the duration.

Whether this is as good as contemporary French theatre gets I can’t tell you – because this is the first production I have seen. However it has certainly whetted my appetite to see other productions at the TNS in future.

Set between the southern facade of the Cathedral and the main entrance to the Palais Rohan, the Place du Chateau occupies an area bigger than the Cathedral itself.  Until recently this not insignificant public space was, unbelievably, a pay and display carpark; notable only for it’s well hidden public toilets and the departure point of the tourists mini-tram.  But four museums, the Cathedral’s viewing platform and the Astrological clock are all directly accessible from the square, so the potential to turn the area into a visitor attraction itself has always been huge.  During Christmas an ice rink is constructed on the square and during the summer festival it usually plays host to a stage and musicians.

Since the closure of the square to traffic last year the city has been in consultation as to what to do with it, and on 30th September they published the proposed plan: a ‘minimalist’ vision of pink marble and stone designed primarily to ‘reveal’ the entrance to the museums on the far side of the square (tourists almost always approach from the direction of the front of the Cathedral).  The main sticking point with those in opposition however is that this ‘revealing’ requires the felling of all but two of the trees that currently reside in the square.

Local Residents association Stra.Ce are vocal in their criticism of the way the process has been handled.

“…our councillors decided to realise a project of their own design [regardless of] whether it corresponded – or not – to the wishes of locals.  A presumption confirmed during the public presentation, during which [negative] public reaction was given the ultimate repost ‘It’s our choice and that’s it’.  What good is [public] consultation if, in the end, you ignore the opinions of those consulted? Disappointment also confirmed by the many reactions read in the Press…  93% of voters on the STRA.CE website as well as almost 80% of people from the area consulted during the public site meeting would like to see the project modified.”

There will be a meeting in the square at 10am on the 5th of November for residents and locals who want to see plans changed.

My own view is that the council have got it wrong.  While I applaud their desire to open the space up to further public shows and attractions and to draw tourists across the square to the less-frequented museums, the removal of the trees will turn the square into a brutalist expanse devoid of character.  In mid-summer, without any shade, the square will be baked by the midday sun making the stone and marble surfaces (the proposed seating!) hot enough to cook an egg on.

I do hope, for the sake of Strasbourg, that the City council see sense before work begins in January.

1. Casier Judiciaire National
   This bit of paper tells your employer how many times you’ve been convicted of molesting a student.  (Well, one assumes). It is issued by the Ministry of Justice and liberties and can be ordered, for free, here.
2. Attestation Responsibilité Civile.
   This bit of paper tells your employer that you’re covered if you molest a student by accident.  It is usually included as part of you household or workplace insurance policy.

Am currently trying to decipher my French payslips issued by my portage firm … will let you know if I make any progress.